‘How they pushed me to a falling down moment
I recently opened a business account with ‘Abbey’ and this is my account of my dreadful experience (ongoing) with them over the last few days. Grab a cuppa and strap yourselves in…..there’s no way I would treat any client/customer like they’ve treated me, its a real eye opener. Here goes….
29th October 2009 – A client paid me a cheque and in error made it in my personal name not Vintage Tea Sets, they were very busy and a big client too, I didn’t want to put them out again by asking to reissue a fresh cheque so I paid the cheque into my personal Nationwide account but made sure I immediately wrote a cheque for the same amount from Nationwide and paid it straight in my Abbey Business Account to keep things nice and straight for the Accountant. Both banks are on opposite sides of the street and this was all completed in minutes. All above board. The cheque from Nationwide was paid in through the hole in the wall as that’s the only way we business bankers are permitted to pay in cheques, it’s free…..I guess you get what you pay for….you’ll see what I mean….so off I trot blissfully unaware of the wheels that had been set in motion….oh if only I had done an electronic transfer….isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing.
FAST FORWARD TO………this week! I’ve been ill, suspected Swine Flu (thankfully turns out to be just a nasty cold, but I’m told to stay in anyway). Its the 11th November 2009 and I ring the Abbey on a totally unrelated matter and at the end of the call I’m told by the customer advisor that I need to speak to the ‘Fraud Dept’…….this is totally out of the blue. I immediately think the worst, that someone has taken money out of my account!! shock horror. In fact I am told that my account is frozen and the cheque I paid in returned to me, they refused to accept my cheque. My post arrives whilst I’m on the phone and there I find the returned cheque ’stopped’ stamped on it in big red letters, I look at the date, its dated 04th Nov (could it have got lost in the strikes…everything else turned up fine). Why have you done this I ask Abbey? I’m then told that Abbey do this sometimes ‘randomly’ to customers???? so take heed business bankers!…..however the woman on the phone sounded miffed and the suggested it could be because I don’t have enough money in the Nationwide Account…..I was confident this wasn’t the case and I verified this with Nationwide, they were extremely perplexed about Abbeys behaviour here and offered me nothing but sympathy. It’s very odd they kept saying.
So what was the problem eh? lets find out some more……maybe it would help if I introduced you to the Abbey Banking Gods….these are the ones in the Fraud Dept…see how aloof they are! And there’s me all teeny and small, its time now for them to start playing their games to test my metal I reckon!

Well, after numerous phonecalls, bouncing back and forth to different departments, a bit like the clashing rocks!

I’m finally told that the transaction I made was ‘suspicious’? and I’d need to complete a number of ‘quests’ to pass through safely….sorry I’ll stop the Jason and the argonauts now..I’m conscious this is banking and need to hold your attention, very dry…..don’t give up! stay with me.
My crime it seems is…I paid a cheque from a personal account into business account, I can back up why this happened. I have proof that a client gave a cheque. It’s still very upsetting having this finger pointed, but if they wanted to dig deeper why did they not call me on the 04th Nov when they froze my account and rejected my legitimate cheque, instead I find out a week later??? I’m a small business and my reputation is on the line here, I’ve written cheques out to people, yep, but they don’t give a toss about that because they’re the banking Gods and us drones have to just get on with whatever crap they dish us. Remember, Abbey didn’t bother to notify me until I rang them about something else….and then this half assed cheque stamped ’stopped’ drifts back through the door, cheers. Meantime I have been writing cheques!!!!!!!! They want to dig deeper, ok I have nothing to hide, so lets get this sorted ASAP. I explain this to them, ask if they will honour the cheques I have written (which incidentally were about to bounce) and being the banking Gods wanting to test me they said ‘No’ and to add insult I need to write a fresh cheque because the wrote all over the last one…..but first…… they need to unfreeze my account. No one is getting paid readers until they figure out what they are doing….I’m about to reach day 3, so don’t hold out your hopes for a happy ending just yet!
Ok back to the story. I’m told to produce my Nationwide bank statement (Which thankfully arrived in the post days before, for the record I do not have internet banking…that’s important) to prove the clients cheque was paid in. And also provide my Passport as ID but I have got to go into the bank. Fine, I have nothing to hide. Its a pain in the ass, there are a few individuals worth their salt in that bank who have tried to help me on this but they’re being let down by their Fraud Dept in my opinion, I guess ‘poo floats’ as a friend most wisely told me those good guys never stand a chance …….You wait till you hear all the spurious requests from the banking Gods he he!!!! I’m told that with those things shown to the branch, my quest to unfreeze my account will be fulfilled. I go straight into the Bank, ill…..they fax all these papers off (I’m there an hour and a half and the Fraud Dept can’t seem to find them), I also discover the money transfer from my old personal Abbey Account I requested when I opened my business account earlier was not done and I was overdrawn….NICE ONE ABBEY. They apologise for that in the branch.
Ill I return home to bed and wait for Abbey to tell me the Freeze has been lifted.
Now for today!
Not surprisingly I got no call from Abbey the branch Yesterday.
I rang at 9am and got through to Business Banking who in turn ping me off to the Branch who apologise, apparently the Fraud Dept didn’t get back to them at 5pm yesterday…….I ask if the freeze has been lifted and they say…….
No…..of course its NO.
Apparently the Fraud Dept want me to go back into the Branch to produce my Deed pole certificate (I got one to change my maiden name to my married before I was married, longwinded I know). I have already shown them tit before when I opened my account but they don’t like keeping records so I had to produce them in person again. Why my Deed pole cert again? Wish I knew, but no one in the Fraud Dept has the BALLS to speak to me, so I’m still none the wiser, instead they make me repeat this very long winded saga over and over again to a new person in the business banking dept they use as a buffer because I’m not worthy to speak to.
I’m told AGAIN on the phone by the branch that if I produce these docs they will lift the freeze….I can hear the cheques bouncing now and am getting very upset BOING BOING BOING. My reputation…… I start ringing all the people I made cheques out to and apologise, tomorrow I’m visiting each one and paying them from my personal account. Thank goodness I still had their numbers.
I produced the Deed pole documents to the Abbey AGAIN as requested, tell them I need to get the money in there as I’d paid out cheques.
IS THIS THE END??? Errrr like hell it is! this is banking drama!!!
I get a call from the Branch to tell me I need to go in again, yes again….a 3rd time in two days, this time producing the Nationwide Bank Statement stamped by Nationwide and a receipt of my transactions…..Errrrrrm I gave them that in this in the very beginning…the actual statement from the bank (amongst all the other fluff they keep asking for). I decide to speak to the person messing with me in the Fraud Dept……I have to get this nonsense from the donkeys (sorry, my mistake) Horses mouth.
I get onto the Business Dept (Remember no one in the Fraud Dept will speak to me yet so I have to go to the buffer first) and the chap on the phone gets the actual person in the Fraud dept but that person will not speak to me so this bizarre conversation now insues with this poor sod stuck in the middle. So the poor piggy in the middle tells me the Fraud chap says ‘the statement you sent us was off the printer, you too it from internet banking’
Ahhhhhh but you see I DO NOT HAVE INTERNET BANKING WITH NATIONWIDE !!!!!! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SPEAK TO YOUR OWN BRANCH FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
I beg to differ with them, and am told uncategorically that the statement I was looking at, actually holding in my hands was from the internet not from the bank, arrived in an envelope through the Royal Mail, ‘I don’t have internet banking with Nationwide!’ I explained. Once again the puppetmaster instructed the poor puppet to tell me otherwise….I’m being called a liar basically….sooooooo
Its here dear readers, at this point that I have a Michael Douglas falling down moment and tell the Fraud Masters puppet to put me on the phone to his Master, the coward who’s hiding behind him, the dissapointing man from Oz. (I didn’t say any of that…..getting into the fllllloooooowwww), no what I do tell him is its the fraud chaps mess and not his and I think that person should have the balls and professionalism to talk to me direct.
He gladly agrees….
……..I get put through to the Fraud Dept…….Hoorah!!!!
I hear the phone picked up and then……….
Shock….Horror!
it’s hung up……yep, the coward at the end of the phone hung up because they are an incompetent unprofessional idiot….and it also could have been because it was 4.50pm and they couldn’t be bothered……all of the above I reckon.
Either way I notify Abbeys complaints dept for the 2nd time in one day and am back on the telephone merry go round again. Fraud squad have gone home to sleep like babies tonight, a busy day messing with peoples livelihoods!
I’m going to finish there now……it’s finished with a poor lass writing a complaint again to the Fraud Dept and cc’ing in the complaints dept.
I have to wait until tomorrow now for them to call…….
So after this is ‘resolved’ I have to pay a fresh cheque in because they b*stardised the perfectly fine first one or I have to pay Nationwide £20 charge to wire money across.
I am disgusted with Abbey National right now.